


Cupid: A Criminal Master Mind

by CastielFollowMe



Series: Single Dad Shiro Verse [24]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cupid - Freeform, Cupid is not allowed in the Shirogane household, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Poor Keith is confused, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 05:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielFollowMe/pseuds/CastielFollowMe
Summary: Keith learns about cupid and he is horrified. What kind of person goes around and shoots people in the heart? Especially cute, vulnerable people like his dad?





	Cupid: A Criminal Master Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "its not even close to valentines day and im not sure if you're taking requests but i just thought of it for some reason: Little kieth doesn't know what cupid is. His friends tell him that cupid shoots you with his love arrow and you fall in love. Kieth doesn't let shiro go outside cuz he thinks his dad's gonna get shot by love baby. Shiro goes out to water the flowers and pretends to get shot on the front lawn. Kieth screams. Btw im totally cool with you not writing this until like, February."

  Keith was only four-years-old when he discovered Valentine’s Day, and life was never the same after that. Not for Keith at least, but for Shiro.

              It was all thanks to hearing about the upcoming Valentine’s day party that Allura was hosting in her daycare with the kids and their families. That was the first time Keith had ever really heard about Valentine’s day and at first, he could care less about the day.  _Yuck, kissy love like Grandma and Grandpa is gross._  Keith had his dad’s love and now his new friends and that was all he needed. He didn’t need a holiday to show love, so he didn’t get the whole point of the holiday.

              That was until Lance opened his mouth.

              “And there’s this guy called cupid who goes around  _shooting_ people!” Lance stated factually, a week before Valentine’s day at lunch. Hunk continued to chew his food, and Pidge rolled their eyes.

              “But why does he have to wear a diaper?” Pidge asked, causing Keith to nod. However, if he were being honest, Keith was more stuck on the fact that this cupid guy willingly  _shot_  people, rather than his lack of attire.

              “I dunno,” Lance shrugged with a frown. “Maybe he’s got bad diarrhea or something?” Pidge and Hunk both made a face at the comment but continued to eat their food. Keith’s frown deepened.

              “Wait, so he’s got nasty poo and he  _shoots_ people?” Keith asked, setting down his sandwich. Lance nodded as he bit into his own food, making Keith’s stomach churn a bit more. He did not like the sound of this cupid guy. No not one bit. This cupid sounded like trouble and Keith would be perfectly happy never seeing him. Ever.

              “That’s gross.” Pidge commented and Keith nodded.

              “Yeah but wouldn’t the arrows hurt?” Hunk finally asked. Keith nodded eagerly, agreeing with Hunk’s statement. That was exactly what he had been thinking this whole time. Lance laughed at Hunk and gently patted his hand.

              “Duh. It’s arrows. Of course, it hurts. I bet if he misses your heart, then you’ll probably  _die!”_  Lance exclaimed, causing Keith’s stomach to sink. This holiday was sounding worse and worse by the second, all because of this cupid guy. He was even starting to sound worse than the drunk leprechaun that came in March. It was then that Lance noticed the troubled look on Keith’s face before a grin overcame his facial features. He was going to take any chance to mess with his “eternal rival.”

              “Plus, I hear he only goes after, like super-hot people. Like Daddy Shiro.” Lance grinned when Keith’s eyes widened and his eyebrows shot to his hairline. Instantly, Keith dropped his sandwich and gasped dramatically. Pidge and Lance both giggled at their friend’s expression while Hunk looked nervous.

              “He wouldn’t go after my daddy!” Keith snapped, before swallowing. “Would he?”

              “I dunno. Your daddy is pretty cute.” Pidge admitted. Keith felt his heart sink to the floor while Lance cackled to himself.

              “Yeah. Cupid will probably pick your daddy first! He’ll hunt him down and ­–  _pow!_  Shoot him right in the chest.” Lance said, closing one eye and aiming a finger gun at Keith’s chest. Keith scowled at Lance before nervously fiddling with his shirt.

              Lance and Pidge were right. His daddy was the  _cutest._  There wasn’t anyone cuter than his daddy, which meant that his daddy was doomed! He was doomed to be shot by this stupid, poo diaper cupid. Other than that fact, Keith knew that his daddy was  _hopeless_  when came to protecting himself. Just the other day, he’d nearly tripped over a rock in the driveway.

              There was no way his daddy would be able to defend himself against this criminal mastermind.

              If anyone had noticed that Keith was quieter than usual, no one said a word.

x.V.x

              “No! You can’t go outside! No.”

              Shiro was startled by the sound of his son’s sudden yell, that he let go of the front door handle immediately. He turned around to see his son running down the stairs, still in his pajamas, and certainly not ready for day care.

              “What?” Shiro asked. He was even more surprised as Keith started to pull his hand, to pull him away from the door, with all his little might. Keith grunted.

 _That was too close. Daddy nearly went outside, where that love baby criminal is!_  Keith thought, priding the fact that he had kept his daddy from going outside. However, he knew that until Valentine’s day passed, he would have to keep a close eye on his daddy.

              “You can’t go outside. No, it’s not safe.” Keith announced once he had dragged his daddy to the couch. Shiro was still baffled by his son’s action but he allowed Keith to pull him onto the couch before Keith too jumped up and snuggled into his side. Of course, Shiro put an arm around Keith and held him close, though not without a look of confusion.

              “I can’t go outside? What on Earth do you mean, little star?” Shiro asked, slightly amused by the whole ordeal.

              “Valentime’s day is Monday,” Keith announced suddenly.

              “Valen _tine’s_  day.” Shiro corrected with a nod.

              “Lance told me all about that cupid guy.” Keith continued with a tiny and determined frown on his face. Shiro almost cooed at the precious look of anger on Keith’s face, but luckily, he refrained from doing do. “And you’re not safe today. He’s gonna take you out because you’re hopeless.”

              Shiro’s jaw dropped, and he couldn’t even come up with something to respond back to Keith. He was more than just a little baffled that Keith was worrying about this. For a moment, he was worried that Keith was upset about the idea of Shiro falling in love. Shiro hadn’t thought about a relationship in nearly a decade, especially once Keith had come into his life. He wasn’t opposed to a relationship and would allow it to happen, should it, but he had no plans to head into a relationship anytime soon. Valentine’s day or not.

              “You’re worried about me?” Shiro finally asked, causing Keith to nod.

              “Yes.” Keith chirped. Shiro opened his mouth to reassure his son, only to be cut off by Keith glaring out the window as if searching for someone. “Cupid is a dangerous man because he  _shoots_  people in the chest! Why would someone even do that? And you’re hopeless because you  _are_  the cutest daddy ever and of course he’d want to shoot you because he can’t if you don’t go outside and if I keep an eye on you.” Keith babbled, eyes still searching outside.

              Shiro quickly turned his head and coughed in order to hide a laugh that was bubbling in his throat. For Keith to be worried,  _that_  reason was not quite what he had been expecting. The entire situation sounded ridiculous to Shiro, and if Keith wasn’t such an adorable child (the most adorable if you ask Shiro) Shiro would have laughed.

              “So, your plan is to keep me inside for three whole days, so cupid can’t get me?” Shiro finally asked with a chuckle. Keith looked back at his dad with a proud grin and nodded. He then patted Shiro’s should gently.

              “Yes! This way he can’t ever get to you!” Keith clapped happily causing Shiro to sigh.

              “Keith, you can’t keep me indoors all the time.” Shiro explained.

              “B – But…but…”  _Oh no, he’s pulling out the crocodile tears and the wobbly lower lip._  Shiro had to stand firm in the wake of his son’s tears and he knew that he couldn’t back down. Not now. Not even when Keith was pretending to sag his shoulders and pout.

              “Keith. I’ll be safe. Don’t worry. Cupid can’t get me.” Shiro grinned, ruffling Keith’s hair. Immediately Keith swatted away from Shiro and flapped his hands.

              “No, you won’t! You can’t even walk down the hall without running into a wall!” Keith huffed dramatically and Shiro gasped with a hand over his heart. He pretended to faint, laying across Keith’s little body, listening to Keith’s squeals of laughter. Keith squirmed and wiggled to try and get out from under his daddy.

              “I suppose it’s a good thing I have such a brave. Strong.  _Kind_  son.”

              “You’re still not going outside daddy.”

              Shiro did  _not_  pout at that.

x.V.x

              “Keith, sweetheart, we do not glare at babies.” Shiro scolded quietly, dragging his son away from the shopping cart to the side of them. The cart had a baby inside of it, in a carrier, and was minding its own business while the mother shopped. Keith had seen the baby first and his first instinct was to run up to the cart and glare at the baby. The mother was pleasantly surprised but with a charming and apologetic smile from Shiro, she was laughing at the situation. Shiro was just happy the baby hadn’t started crying.

              “But what if that’s cupid!” Keith said, grabbing onto their own cart while Shiro pushed it along. He squeezed himself between the back of the cart and Shiro’s legs, making Shiro awkwardly maneuvered around him. “Lance says he looks like a dumb baby and wears a diaper.”

              Shiro groaned. _Thanks, Lance._

              “I  _promise_  you that was not cupid,” Shiro said as the two of them headed down another aisle. Unfortunately, this aisle had a toddler,  _outside_  of the cart, wearing diapers. Shiro heard Keith hiss between his legs and he quickly tried to maneuver the two of them back out of the aisle.

              It was too late, however.

              Somehow Keith had gotten a hold of a floaty noddle and he was stalking towards the toddler. The toddler squeaked and laughed happily, probably thinking that Keith was playing rather than about to destroy it.

              Just as Keith let out a breath to attack, Shiro had scooped the four-year-old up into his arms and was quickly walking out of the aisle, with the family and toddler oblivious to Keith’s intentions. He briskly walked into another aisle, breathing a sigh of relief when it was empty. Only then did he let Keith down, before putting his hands on his hips and tapping his foot.

              “Keith. No more. Cupid is not here today. If you cannot behave you’ll sit in the cart.” Shiro finally reprimanded causing Keith to scowl.

              “How do you know?” Keith argued back and Shiro counted to ten in his head. He breathed out a long sigh and reminded himself that this was what happened when you had a four-year-old. This was life with a toddler and this was what being a parent was all about.

              “Because Allura helped me with a super special cupid tracking device that works in this store only!” Shiro smiled sweetly. He saw Keith take the bait and slowly Keith’s eyes widened. “There isn’t any trace of cupid in this store at all, so we’re safe here!” It took a few more seconds before Keith finally nodded. He grabbed onto the cart and squeezed himself between Shiro’s legs again, letting Shiro breathe a sigh of relief.

              Luckily, Keith did not wish harm on any more children in the store.

              He did, however, make a baby cry because he stared at it the whole time through the line.

x.V.x

              This was getting ridiculous now.

              Keith had been adamant about not letting Shiro out of the house this weekend. Or not letting babies near Shiro. Or always watching Shiro.

              It was Monday morning and Shiro nearly cried to know that this would all be over after today. Keith wouldn’t be so paranoid anymore, and hopefully, by next year he will have grown out of this horrific phase. Shiro kept glancing at the clock, knowing there was only an hour left in Allura’s little Valentine’s Day party.

              Shiro had fun, chaperoning the party. Allura had combined her small group of kids with several other kindergarten classes to have one massive party. There was tons of cakes, candies, and sugar which meant kids on sugar highs and rushes. Cards were passed out and bags given to each other. Several other parents and families had also come to join the celebration and Shiro had a pleasant time at the party.

              More importantly,  _Keith_  was having fun.

              He stayed with Hunk, Lance, and Pidge mostly and kept away from the crowds but he ate the sweets and gave his cards to those three. He’d smiled shyly when all of them had given Keith a card too, and grinned when Allura gave hers to him. Overall, he was having fun and it made Shiro’s heart swell as he took picture after picture.

              And best of all, for now, Keith had forgotten all about cupid.

              Maybe this would keep up and Keith wouldn’t remember cupid at all today.

              However, that was short lived when Shiro felt a tiny tap on his leg. He looked down and ‘Awwed’ so loudly upon seeing a kid dressed as cupid. He didn’t have a diaper on, but rather a white toga. His brown hair was curly all along his head with bright green eyes staring up at him. A tiny halo attached to a wire sat upon his head, and Shiro could even see big, white fluffy wings on his back.

              Quickly, Shiro knelt and the kid beamed.

              “Why hello there! Who might you be?” Shiro mocked a bow at the kid, causing him to giggle. He too tried to bow before fiddling with a tiny heart arrow in his hand.

              “I’m cupid! I’m here to spread love in your day!” The kid screeched happily. Shiro chuckled at the boy’s enthusiasm and nodded. That was when the kid smiled, before pushing his heart arrow against Shiro’s chest, where his heart was and Shiro pretended to gasp, clutching at the arrow. Of course, the little boy giggled at his dramatic actions, but that was the exact moment that Keith had decided to find his dad.

              And Keith screamed when he saw his daddy clutching an arrow to his chest, with a mini Cupid next to him.

              In less than ten seconds, a box of candy hearts was thrown at Shiro and cupid, cupid started crying, Keith was dialing 911 and a food fight had erupted from the other kids.

              It was mortifying having to explain to the fire department that showed up, that, “No there wasn’t an emergency. My son hates cupid with a passion and flipped out when he saw that I was ‘shot’ by a cupid and now there’s a sugary food fight.” Luckily, the fire department men were satisfied with some cake and were content to watch the children run around in a panic.

              And Shiro could only ask: _Why me?_


End file.
